PJ

I introduced my boss to The Rizzler yesterday. Suffice to say she is now fully engaged in whatever the fuck that kid is doing with his life.

I don’t think we pause enough and just take a moment to process the absurdity that is this new social media era. An era where you have an obese child making short form videos of himself making some stupid face in the camera and ranking his favorite fast food items. We, the people of the internet, in turn, make him disgustingly rich. I mean for God sake’s the kid was on Jimmy Fallon. He has a sponsorship with AriZona Ice Tea.

Now I’m not saying that he’s not a sweet kid, he is, but at a certain point we have to stop consuming this type of content. His parents are training their child to make tiktoks instead of teaching him how to ride a bike. And judging by his physical condition, the kid hasn’t sniffed a bike in his life.

We have to start consuming actual substance instead of whatever the hell this crap is. Take his parents’ phones away, and for the love of the Lord put this kid on blood thinners. It will prolong his life. Stop feeding him garbage, @TheRizzler’s parents. Do your son a favor and get him some shoulder pads for his next birthday so he can play football. He’d be a hell of a left tackle. If not, lock them up for child abuse.

I apologize for my spirited rant. I just get fired up about fat kids, because I was one. Not rizzler fat, but fat enough.

That’s all folks, I love you.